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Habeas Corpus Detained Indefinitely As Enema Combatant
 Vice
president Bush conceded that the latest
U.S. political prisoner,
identified only as Habeas
Corpus, is being
detained
indefinitely. Bush cited that the suspect clearly fits the profile of
‘Latin origin,” possibly even Columbian or Venezuelan, indicating “foreign
sympathies.” Mr. Bush said that in his regular meeting with government
linguists, he learned that they had intercepted a communication from a
“known leftist professor” regarding “some dead language.” Mr. Corpus was
arrested after National Security Agency analysts identified “numerous and
undeniable” references to him by “American Civil Liberties Union lawyers,
known Democrats, and others known to risk national security for the rule of
law; plus a shit-load of
secret
evidence.”
 An
ACLU spokeswomen did admit, “Habeas
Corpus is a critical agent as an enema combatant in this bull shit war.”
Mr. Bush rebuked reporters saying, “even reporting on the detention of
Habeas Corpus could endanger true Americans. But, I’ve had to put up with
countless ordeals at the hands of a
free press.
I just hope that it happens quickly. It is
my conviction that mine
will be a
speedy trial.”
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DC Comics Sues Bush “League of Just Us” Over “Super Fiends” Rip-Off
DC Comic is suing vice
president Bush and a host of his two-dimensional “Super
Fiends” for swiping their, “ultimately doomed, but copyrighted ‘League
of Just Us’ and ‘Super Fiends’ characters.” The DC Comics’ Super Fiends
were defeated by low Neilson polling data in 1984. Nonetheless, the secret
drafting of a National Inse curity
Plan by Paul
Wolfowitz, aka Hawk Man, and
Richard Perle, aka The Flash, paved the way for new
life among born-again chicken hawks. A DC Comics spokeschild issued this
statement: “The facts are clear: Bush and Cheney are Badman and
Robbin’, Rumsfield is Water Boy, and
Condoleezza is
Wander Woman. The White House is the Hall of Just
Us. The congressional Democrats are the Legion of Doom and
Gloom. The role of Supper Man is played tag team
by thousands of ‘guessed hosts’ trying to influence the Bush League. We
realized in 1984 that Super Fiends wasn’t worth the paper that it was
printed on. Unfortunately, the Bush League can print as much money as it
likes, so it can afford the hundreds of billions of dollars needed to prop
up such a bankrupt idea. We just want our cut.”
Vice President Bush dismissed
the suit, “Look, I know copyright from copywrong, and we are so copyright
it’s unbelievable.”
President Cheney discounted
the whole lawsuit, “Anyone can see that George is Inflexible Man, and is
clearly in the public domain. Besides, we don’t even support human rights.
What makes anybody think that we are going to support the rights of mirror
caricatures. And by the way, I prefer to be called, “Puppet Master.”
One comics industry analyst
suggested that the rip-off may have been motivated by the decision by the
Double D Comics Political Action Committee to support 2-D candidate John
Kerry in the last, or potentially last, presidential election: “It was a
close call, but the Double D Comics PAC thought, much to their chagrin, that
John Kerry’s chin would vault him to super hero status. In retrospect, it
was a big mistake. Bush turned out to be the ultimate two-dimensional
caricature of a president, colorful but with an uncanny ability to think in
black-and-white.”
To facilitate a compromise,
the Bush League threatened eminent domain on DC Comics World Headquarters.
In response to such an indecent act, the comic giant agreed to bare all and
drop its suit. The Bush Family, Inc. agreed to purchase a complete set of
First Edition Super Fiends comics for the George W. Bush Presidential
Library, thanks to the generous sponsorship by the Crayola Corporation’s
Write to Read Program.
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